I’m certain that I’m not the only hummingbird who has ever felt like a walking, talking medical anomaly invented just to crack at your doctor’s brains. I’ve felt this way more often than I care to admit. But recently, at a doctor’s appointment, the doctor actually said it, “Well, I don’t know what to do with you!” as if that was supposed to make me feel better. I definitely appreciate her honesty as opposed to leading me on to believe that she knows what it is when she doesn’t. Yet, there’s a part of you, as a patient, that believes that your doctor has all the answers. That’s what this journey has taught me … certain doesn’t exist in the medical field, and anything can change.
After her blunt honesty, I began to look through my old medical files to see if there was something that I missed or something that a doctor may have overlooked. Thank God for MyChart! I was able to access my records from 2013, and I found something that truly changed everything. I discovered that a test they ran on me to see if I have an autoimmune disorder came back positive. It was a low positive, but nonetheless positive is positive! It feels a bit awkward to be excited about news that most people would be depressed and heartbroken after receiving. Yet, for me, it honestly was liberating. I feel like for the past few years, a lot of the doctors I’ve seen just don’t quite get it. They don’t understand me or my symptoms and it doesn’t help my case that the important tests come back normal and the secondary tests used to confirm the more important results, always come back abnormal; yet everyday I live with these symptoms and every appointment felt like a step closer to the mental ward. You know what you feel, and you aren’t crazy, regardless of the looks and lectures you will receive from the majority of your doctors and/or specialists. I’m going to end on a positive quote that is truly a favorite of mine.
After her blunt honesty, I began to look through my old medical files to see if there was something that I missed or something that a doctor may have overlooked. Thank God for MyChart! I was able to access my records from 2013, and I found something that truly changed everything. I discovered that a test they ran on me to see if I have an autoimmune disorder came back positive. It was a low positive, but nonetheless positive is positive! It feels a bit awkward to be excited about news that most people would be depressed and heartbroken after receiving. Yet, for me, it honestly was liberating. I feel like for the past few years, a lot of the doctors I’ve seen just don’t quite get it. They don’t understand me or my symptoms and it doesn’t help my case that the important tests come back normal and the secondary tests used to confirm the more important results, always come back abnormal; yet everyday I live with these symptoms and every appointment felt like a step closer to the mental ward. You know what you feel, and you aren’t crazy, regardless of the looks and lectures you will receive from the majority of your doctors and/or specialists. I’m going to end on a positive quote that is truly a favorite of mine.
“The smile on my face doesn’t mean my life is perfect. It means I appreciate what I have and what God’s blessed me with.”